Dark Devotions (Ray Patchett & Steve Messer)
“After all we’ve been trying to teach the kids about self-esteem and she comes and tells them they’re sinners!”
In his 1995 book, The Optimistic Child, American psychologist Martin Seligman described the ‘Self-Esteem Movement’ which began in California in the 1960s. It taught that positive feelings were the key to one’s success in life and led to practices such as placing signs on the mirrors in school toilets which read, “You are looking at the most important person in the world.” Seligman said the result of such indoctrination was an “epidemic” of depression amongst adolescents as what they had been told about themselves failed to match the reality they experienced. He proposed that “doing well” was more important than “feeling good” and that self-esteem was enhanced when children were taught strategies for overcoming their challenges and failures.
To esteem something means to calculate (or estimate) its worth. Self-esteem is the individual’s calculation of their own worth. But the worth of anything is determined by comparison to a standard, so the true worth of most world currencies is determined in relation to the US dollar. By what standard may we accurately measure our self-worth? Seligman points out that miscalculation can have devastating consequences: “The bloated self is fertile soil for the growth of depression,” he says.
After the Jewish exile in Babylon had ended, Nehemiah returned to Jerusalem grieved at the report he had received that the city’s walls had been broken down and the people who had returned earlier were in great trouble (Neh 1:3-4). His rebuilding work was opposed by Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem who mocked, despised and threatened violence to him and those working on the project (2:17-20; 4:7-8). But, in prayerful dependence on God, through wise defensive strategies and hard work (4:9), the wall was finished, leaving the enemies no choice but to confess the help of God in bringing it about. The completed task left them with greatly diminished self-esteem! Literally, they had “fallen very much in their own eyes,” they were demoralized, helpless, frightened and humiliated. Their pride had been shattered. God had kept his promise that if his people kept faith with him, he would “put the dread and fear of you on the peoples who are under the whole heaven, who shall hear the report of you and shall tremble and be in anguish because of you” (Deut 2:25). He was making his name great among the nations (Mal 1:11, 14).
A teacher friend of mine told me of a visit from a missionary to the school assembly. She told of the work that she was involved with in a difficult part of the world and issued a challenge to the students. My friend overheard a conversation in the staff room afterwards: “After all we’ve been trying to teach the kids about self-esteem and she comes and tells them they’re sinners!”
An accurate, healthy self-estimate begins with thinking about ourselves biblically. Its foundation is understanding that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Ps 111:10). Looking at the vast splendour of creation should humble us in wonderment with King David: “what is man that you are mindful of him” (Ps 8:4)? Isaiah’s vision of the heavenly throne room shows that God’s holiness poses a lethal threat to our sinfulness and pride (see Is 6:1-6), but the prophet also records Yahweh’s firm but tender declaration, “This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word” (66:2).
Since “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov 16:18), our only hope for safety is found in humbling ourselves “under the mighty hand of God” allowing him to exalt us (1 Pe 5:6), coming to him in godly, repentant grief at our sins, trusting in Jesus’ sacrifice that leads to salvation without regret (2 Cor 7:10). As sinners saved by grace (Eph 2:8), we must not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but with sober judgment (Ro 12:3) which will lead us to see, among many other things, that we are God’s jewels (Zech 9:16), his treasured possession (Ex 19:5 etc), his inheritance (Eph 1:18), “children of God… fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Ro 8:16-17).
Understanding who we are in Christ is good for every part of us, including our psychology!
Might it be true to say that salvation requires low self-esteem? Of course, it doesn’t end there. Understanding who we are in Christ is good for every part of us, including our psychology!
